I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
