I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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