im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
