Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
