remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
