my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The power of my boobs compel you
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
