I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
