it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
