i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
