Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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