i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
