"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
