I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
