We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
