This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize