So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
