sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I want to fling myself into the sun
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