Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
