You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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