I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
