Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
