I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize