Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
