Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
