Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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