At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
