Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
