hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She is in my trunk
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
