Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Randomize
