I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
