So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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