mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
