For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sext me about skeletons
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
