If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
This is my gift to your gina
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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