So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
