I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
