but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
honey bunches of taint.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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