I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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