I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Enjoy the penises
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
