It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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