He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Lo siento on account of my penis...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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