We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
