Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
