Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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