Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
well you can't waste a boner
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
