Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i think i just lost a toe
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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