my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
