marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
