dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
