New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
