I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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