We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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