I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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