What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
