she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Acid is not a monday night drug
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
