it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
