Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There r osticjed everywhere
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize