He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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