Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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