A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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