you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
